What happens if a marriage breaks up or one person moves away or dies?

Q. What happens if a marriage breaks up or one person moves away or dies, and one parent is left very preoccupied with their own resentments, hurt or guilt? They tell the child negative stories about the parent who has gone, trying to put blame or guilt onto the other parent?  What happens when, if they’re asked to conduct the method and present the suggestions of loving, when previously the mother has said “well Daddy left us, and now he’s died and he’s not coming back and he didn’t love us anyway, etc.” What happens then?

photo of Joane Goulding founder of the sleeptalk methodA. Whether Dad or Mum did or did not/does or does not love the child is immaterial.

The basic self-image of the child is the most and in reality the only important issue we have to deal with here. When you are dealing with a great deal of resentment and anger it’s important that the child believes that they are loved. The remaining parent is then assisted to appreciate that negative suggestions only compound disharmony within the child.

What may assist or help is “waking suggestions”. “Waking suggestions” are very powerful and work in harmony with the method in situations like this, which allows the child to balance within him/herself that which is comfortable.

We all like to know that we are loved, and even though the absent parent may no longer be in the family environment, it doesn’t necessarily mean that s/he doesn’t love the child. We don’t know everything that is going on in another person’s mind so it’s inappropriate to judge them as not loving the child.

We must however be very sure that the child has the basic self-concept of and belief in unconditional love from both parents, regardless of whether it is true or not, because the child’s self-worth is at stake. Obviously, there are a couple of exceptions.